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Filed under: Other Racing Series

A 13-year-old boy was killed racing his motorcycle Sunday. If that shocks you, chances are you just don't understand the sport.

Lucky for your kids.

Not so lucky was Peter Lenz, all 81 pounds of him.

"The fatal accident almost certainly will spark a debate about how young is too young," the AP story said.

Well let's hope so. Kids have to be 16 to get a license to drive a car 70 mph. But we let 12-year-olds drive motorcycles 120 mph?

I don't want to come off as a namby-pamby parent who won't let his kids climb a tree, but what am I missing here?

Everything, according to fans of tykes of motorbikes.

"God's speed to the family of Master Lenz and don't let the ignorant masses question your decision making as parents."

So read one of the thousands of Internet comments since Peter (I can't bring myself to call him "Lenz") was killed at a U.S. Grand Prix Racers Union event at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

 

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Filed under: Carl Edwards, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Denny Hamlin, Greg Biffle, Kyle Busch, Matt Kenseth, NASCAR Crashes, NASCAR Fights, NASCAR

If the Supreme Court had to decide who NASCAR's dirtiest driver is, Carl Edwards might not qualify.

Sure, he's dirtier than a Tiger Woods text message. But the justices would have to excuse Edwards on the grounds he is criminally insane.

Crazy Carl has to be a sociopath. How else could he live with himself after all the damage he's willfully inflicted?

Most of it stems from his feud with Brad Keselowski. For a while it was like the Iran-Iraq war of the 1980s. Henry Kissinger observed, "it's a shame they both can't lose."

Now Keselowski is Iraq, trying to rise above the senseless violence, despite what my opponent in this tussle, Clay Travis, tells you. Edwards is Iran, thumbing his nose at authority and threatening to nuke anyone who gets in his way, including innocent bystanders.

Fans of the Carl and Islamic revolution will disagree, simply because they are blinded by the cause. But expert observers have no doubt who the bad guy is.

 

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Filed under: Jimmie Johnson

Jimmy Johnson is not only the most dominant driver in NASCAR, he is the most dominant athlete in the world.

What's wrong with that sentence?

First, a lot of people don't think drivers are athletes. Second, a lot of people don't know Jimmy is actually Jimmie.

He didn't coach the Cowboys or spend the summer in Nicaragua taping "Survivor." This JJ spent the past few years doing what he always does -- winning.

If only he were winning football games or changed his name to Earnhardt, Johnson might get the domination respect he deserves.

The Other Side

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In fact, when all the arguments for and against athletes are tallied, the most dominant athlete in sports today may shock you: Peyton Manning, the two-time defending league MVP, is the newest inheritor of the sporting crown.
-- Clay Travis on why Peyton Manning is the most dominant athlete in sports today The guy has won four straight Sprint Cup titles. Imagine if Kobe Bryant had won four straight NBA titles or Peyton Manning four straight Super Bowls. Congress would have voted to put their faces on the $100 bill.

If Johnson were on the bill, people would think it's Zachary Taylor in a fire suit. Just because 97.2 percent of Americans wouldn't recognize him if he ran over their dog is no reason to scoff at JJ's success.

The fact he dominates stock car racing is, of course.

 

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Filed under: NASCAR Fans, Sports Business and Media, NASCAR

Are you one of those racing fans who think NASCAR's "Secret Fine" policy is dastardly?

If so, please look in the mirror. You will see why those snobby outsiders think the average NASCAR fan has the IQ of a hubcap. Make that a hubcap off a UFO that crashed in Area 51.

Racing fans love a conspiracy theory, and this latest revelation has further convinced them NASCAR is run by a secret society that rigs races and now uses the Bill of Rights to wipe the oil off dipsticks. Before we get a good laugh out of that, let's dispense with the obvious.

Surely nobody would argue that a business doesn't have a right to discipline its employees. Drivers may not technically be NASCAR employees, but they willingly represent the organization.

They must therefore abide by a few rules. One of them is "Don't Trash the Company That Feeds You."

Could you go on TV and rip your company without ramification? Even the ACLU wouldn't allow its lawyers to say its legal opinions are baloney. Yet many racing fans were shocked and dismayed to learn NASCAR fined two drivers for being overly critical of the sport.

Uh, yeah. That's what happens when a person says something that damages their organization. See: Shirley Sherrod ... on second thought, never mind.

 

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Filed under: Indianapolis Motor Speedway, IRL, Danica Patrick, Indianapolis 500

Most people want to be taken seriously at work. So wouldn't you love Erin Andrews to interview Danica Patrick at this weekend's Indianapolis 500?

Oh, to see the thought bubbles above their heads.

Andrews: "Why am I talking to a bikini model?"

Patrick: "Does this bimbo know a fan belt from a garter belt?"

The average American male wouldn't care what the women said as long as they flashed a little cleavage and a lot of leg. That's a problem, though it's one Patrick and Andrews have willingly brought on themselves.

They've broken Rule No. 1 for being taken seriously: Don't writhe on a bed or a car hood as millions of people ogle along. It's okay if you're auditioning for a Snoop Dogg video, but you won't see Helio Castroneves or Robin Roberts doing it.

The realization hit me like a ton of sequins this week as two great sporting events converged. Andrews finished third in "Dancing with the Stars," while Patrick bellyached about her car heading into Sunday's Indy 500.

The crowd booed when they heard the Brickyard's resident hottie pop off. It seems Patrick's striptease act is finally wearing a little thin. There's been way too much tease.

You can't blame Patrick for capitalizing on her looks. If companies wanted to pay me $7 million a year to titillate consumers, I'd be happily writhe on a car that's been sitting all day in the Florida sun.

 

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Filed under: Carl Edwards, NASCAR Crashes

Carl Edwards rammed his car into another vehicle Sunday. In the real world, that's called road rage.

In the NASCAR world, that's called "a good time."

That's why it would be an injustice if Edwards (left) is sent to the pits for the next race. He should be sent to jail for what he did to Brad Keselowski. And NASCAR should be charged with aiding and abetting.

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It's always a good time until somebody loses an eye or a leg or a family member. Nobody was killed at the Kobalt Tools 500, but Edwards would have been arrested if he'd pulled that stunt on I-85.

It would be dicey legal territory, but I'd like a prosecutor to at least try to bust a driver who's as patently guilty of reckless driving as Edwards.

And what if Keselowski had been killed or his car had flown into the stands? Would the courts just look the other way?

I couldn't get a response from the Henry County District Attorney's office Monday. There is no simple answer to the question of when violence in sports becomes criminal. If I'm a prosecutor, however, I'd like my chances against Edwards.

 

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Filed under: Dale Earnhardt Jr., Nationwide Series, Danica Patrick

The biggest story in racing is spinning out. That became apparent Wednesday when it made the National Enquirer.

No, it wasn't "Lindsay Lohan Confessions" or "Why Jon Gosselin hates Hailey Glassman's guts." Joining those headlines was this grab for attention:

Dale Jr. & Danica NASCAR War.

"Dale is livid at Danica for talking trash about him behind his back," revealed a source. "He's feeling he's giving her entrance into the NASCAR world and teaching her his tricks -- and she's saying how she can beat him."

Just because it's in the Enquirer doesn't mean it's not true. The paper was just nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for its investigation into John Edwards' zipper problems. Inquiring minds now want to know whether Dale Earnhardt Jr. hates Danica Patrick's guts.

According to the usual unnamed sources, insiders, friends and pit-crew observers, the answer is yes. Believe them if you want, but the story behind the story is the real story.

What do celebrities do when they can't really do anything?

They get attention the new-fashioned way. They concoct it.

 

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Filed under: NASCAR Crashes, Nationwide Series, Danica Patrick

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. -- Reality bites.

Actually, it crashed on the home straightaway.

Then all the king's horses, swimsuit photographers and Go Daddy producers couldn't put Danica Patrick's car back together again.

"Tough day," she said.

Good day if you think Danica belongs on a massage table and not in a stock car. But Saturday's tough day was hardly a failure.

I mean, what did you expect?

 

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FORT PIERCE, Fla. -- The most dramatic race in NASCAR history ended here the other night. The winners escaped one of the biggest wrecks this hemisphere has ever seen.

It was the earthquake in Haiti, and I know what you might be thinking.

God, not another story about that.

After 10 days of depressing news, you might want somebody to rescue you from Anderson Cooper. But what happened at this little airport proves at least one good thing.

"There is always a silver lining," Dick Snook said.

 

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Filed under: Jimmie Johnson

Jimmie Johnson doesn't need help winning. He desperately needs help making people appreciate winning.

On Sunday, Johnson clinched his fourth straight Sprint Cup title. To put that in layman's terms, Johnson is the Yankees, Patriots and American Idol wrapped into one.

That makes Johnson the most under-loved dynasty in sports history. When he won the crown Sunday at Homestead, most of America likely stifled a yawn unless he would have popped out of the cockpit dressed as Danica Patrick. (Needless to say, he didn't.)

Jimmie, we're here to help.

 

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