The kids are all right: Canadian women celebrate Canadian gold in hockey like, well, hockey players; snowboarder Scotty Lago receives praise for his bronze-metal accomplishment; praise no more indecent than, say, some of the postures taken by figure skaters.
The world sure is getting more priggish these days. The self-righteous reign in the staid Olympiad being held in Vancouver, B.C.
Canada's women won the gold medal in hockey. OK, so I wasn't completely sure women played hockey until I noticed a couple weeks back that Finland certainly had a lot of dudes with long blonde hair. Upon further review, I discovered women did indeed play hockey.
Said women, in fact, played hockey very well, so much so that Team Canada defeated Team USA, 2-0, in the finals. Afterwards - after waiting for all the kiddies and their parents to depart the arena - these spirited hockey lasses returned to the scene of their triumph and cracked open the bubbly and lit the cigars.
The controversy that followed would've been justified had the Canadians taken scissors and stripped off the embroidered maple leaves from their "sweaters." (I've met real, live Canadians and that's what they call hockey jerseys.)
But they're kids! They just won the Olympic gold medal! In their home country! They're not going back to million-dollar contracts in the NHL! This is probably going to be the greatest moment in their lives!
Maybe it would've been more stirring and patriotic had they all stood at attention, in formation, and sang "Oh, Canada," but they come from a generation that grew up watching professional wrestlers, and reality TV, and fans painting their faces and going shirtless in freezing cold, and racers "doing doughnuts" and basketball stars, "in your face." They never even heard of Stan Musial, and they think Evel Knievel was a punk rocker.
And they play hockey! Have you ever known people who played hockey? I'm surprised they didn't riot because it was champagne and not Canadian beer. I don't think I could date a woman who played hockey. I'd be scared.
People who are offended by this don't have much sense of humor. I suspect they've never experienced the heady craziness that comes in the moments after supreme athletic conquests.
And this was but the latest.
The American bronze medalist, snowboarder Scotty Lago, agreed, under pressure from the U.S. Olympic Committee, to go home after he appeared on the Internet in some suggestive photographs taken of him and his ... medal. Who knows how one judges what's appropriate and what isn't? The photos weren't dirty. They were mischievous. Suggestive.
I've yet to see any figure skating that wasn't suggestive, by the way, including the way they preen and posture for the fans and judges.
Just because these kids became Olympians didn't mean they stopped being kids. When I was a kid, I'm sure glad they didn't have cell phones that took pictures.