The Presbyterian Blue Hose of Clinton, South Carolina meet up with Wake Forest on Sept. 2 - hopefully not inaugurating another 0-11 season.

Are you ready for some football? This week all the young scholars - the Fighting Collegians -- start crashing into each other, and I can't wait.

Unfortunately, the next five nights - yes, the games run right through Monday - involve more football than Football. The games are somewhat evenly divided between interesting, if offbeat, intersectional games and potential laughers that no self-respecting Division I-AA (or Football Championship Subdivision) school should have to lower itself to play.

Presbyterian at Wake Forest, for instance. The Blue Hose were 0-11 last year but played Gardner-Webb close.

Money is the reason. Here's hoping Presbyterian, which visits the friendly confines of Clemson's Death Valley on Sept.11, still has a team to play The Citadel on Sept. 18.

In related stories, Marshall visits Ohio State, Samford invades Florida State, Coastal Carolina rides a wave into West Virginia, North Texas provides Clemson's first stern test, Western Carolina advances to North Carolina State and Tennessee-Martin pays its respects to the Tennessee that is in Knoxville.

These don't figure to be examples of Football. They shape up more as reenactments of Gallipoli.

I'm glad these little teams with their little players are going to be paid handsomely, but I think they ought to be asked first if they want to volunteer.

Let me hasten to add: I love an underdog. There's a difference, though, between relieving Bastogne and remembering the Alamo.

I hope every big school is sluggish and every small school is feisty. That way the score will be something respectable, like 55-28.

I wonder where I might be able to watch these pigskin lottery tickets in action.

Of course, the big Miami-Florida game is on ESPN. That's Miami of Ohio.

In fairness, there are interesting games coming up, none more so than the LSU-UNC game in Atlanta. Games matching relatively powerful teams that aren't close to each other provide some interest in terms of comparative scores that will be ridiculed and discounted later in the year.

Pitt's playing Utah. Connecticut visits Michigan. Oregon State visits TCU. Boise State travels to Virginia Tech. A few regional rivalries are on the slate: Missouri at Illinois, Kentucky at Louisville, Purdue at Notre Dame.

For many of the haves, though, these money games with the have-nots amount to little more than cruel and unusual punishment.

My heart yearns for a good, old Appalachian State upset of Michigan. (Where are the Apps? Chattanooga. Rats.)